Alright so for my last AP Language essay we had to write a satirical essay (Rather short sadly) on a topic of any choice, below is what I did. Enjoy , also sidenote this was written in about 30 minutes before I needed it done , but I liked the end result.
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                                                                      Now who really leads us?
Many years ago, when Al Gore invented the internet and UFO's were a sign of man's impending doom – or was that still Al Gore – society started to focus on the next race after Space and Destruction . . . Technology. This race led to many things generations see as a necessity: Phones, Internet, Computers, Star Bucks , and many other capitalistic spawns. Phones have become the only way mankind can communicate instantaneously and clearly. These not-so-little devices allow for clear and private conversations that nobody could ever find out about , unless they're your mother. These devices let us free up many days a week for things such as : Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. A person just commented and liked your photo about a disfigured pizza slice from the mall? Well they deserve a gold start and a marathon of being Facebook stalked. Your selfie you spent two hours preping for and making sure the lighting is perfect and the lens flare is on and you tweeted before hand a “#Selfie #BombsAway” did not get a single comment? Time to lock yourself away because nobody can understand that feeling of alienation and the only thing who does understand is this phone. Siri knows how you feel – as a complex AI program made from the leftovers of OnStar (s)he certainly knows what alienation feels like –  and (s)he is the only one who can help you through this unbearable torture. Second to the devil's contract – obviously the phone companies are the devil himself in disguise – is the ethereal Internet. A sentient being of no emotions and hatred of human life, it has but one goal in life. . . to make sure your 44 hours a week are not wasted on the outside world for that is unforgiving and cruel. Personally, the internet creates a great hub of ideas for people to share for free ,or for a subscription of $1 plus your SSN, it is the online black market that has no reals nor any regulations whats-so-ever , but for the rotten bunch they see it as the Devil himself, reincarnated selling contracts to a glorious machine that requires only one invaluable object . . . your soul. This deal seems fair as many people are willing to sell their soul to a government , so why not sell it to an omnipotent leader that neither cares what race you are or your age. Just that you give it the attention it deserves. The radicals in office can not witness , nor shall they, the almighty that is serving a machine – this was the original intent for the internet to be Skynet – as it does not need our food , water, oil, sun, trees, the very natural things that define what our life was revolved around. The age of man comes closer to this end because as gullible as we were thinking we created machines originally to solve our problems , but as we kept going down this chrome-plated road we never saw what our end was for we were already allured by the limitless possibilities made from a spider-web of servers hosting data we could upload or download at the press of a button.

This is a real giveaway. Pick a number between 1 and 50 and you can have any game 30$ or less.

Hello all! I currently have 4 Steam games sitting in my inventory collecting dust. These games include:
Killing Floor
GTA: Sand Andreas
Hydrophobia: Prophecy
Smugglers 5: Invasion

To enter for the chance to win write one nice thing (What you like most!) and one criticism (What they could work on!) of the person who posted above you along with a number between 1-1,000. The four closest (and first to post) people to the number I've chosen will receive one of these four games! If any submissions contain deliberately hurtful, rude, or sarcastic comments about the person above your submission will be disqualified and comment reported. That means no comments about something they have no control over (voice, for example), no sarcastic compliments (or criticisms), and no fake compliments or criticisms. To enter you must have at least 100 hours on the server to participate and if a comment appears to break the rules please write about the person above them and ignore theirs. I will choose the winner by next Friday at the latest. Those closest to the chosen number will be PMed to choose first.

Edit: Please don't reply unless you're entering. One submission per person!

Steam Name (Current): Dno did Benghazi

Steam Name (During incident): Dno did Benghazi

Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:53551282

Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/id/Maplegears/

Name of staff you were banned by: Mr. Cyan Spy

Length of the ban: Started as a week, got lengthened to perma

Would you like your ban shortened or repealed?: Repealed, as I did nothing wrong.

Reason for ban: """""RDMing + Trolling + Metagaming with Dno and Chicken"""""

Did you commit the actions stated in the ban reason?: No.

Additional details: Dno and chicken were rdming and metagaming, but I was not. You can check the logs, I didn't rdm whilst the event was occuring. Yes, I was talking to them in-game, but I was not metagaming. As for trolling, thats just a flat out lie.

Edit: Also, I'd just like to point out that Doctor Rat was rdming a ton. Almost everytime he saw us, he would kill us without reason.

FRG Does have a CS:GO server that I put up occasionally to mess around with friends on.

It might be some fun if we set up some 5v5's sometime!

Anyone agree?

Perhaps we could even do a 5v5 tournament. Might be some fun!

(NO EXCEL ALLOWED)

Steam Name(Current): doctorRat

Age: 22

Current Rank: Member

Have you ever been banned and why?: No, because shennanigans

Why would you like to be promoted?: I want to help make this server the best it can be. I'm not looking to be the top tier staff because I know I cannot devote myself to that dedication and it wouldn't be fair to the server. However; while being a member+ I can help enforce the rules and have a great time as well.

Why do you think we should promote you?: I should be promoted because I have a good understanding of how to be a people person and I can think a situation out critically and put my best instinct into action. I havn't had any problems with any players (to my knowledge) thus far.

Do you have any administrative experience?: I do not have experience but being a member+, I believe, will give me good experience behind a staff position.

Additional Details: This server has quickly become my go to spot when I feel anxious about my job entertaining people gets to crazy. Or when I jsut want to get on and see some of the awesome people I have become friends with over the time I've been here.

Oh yeah, I am a Doctor and I approve this message.

Does anyone know of a good Uninterrupted Power Supply that I can use for my computer? We get brown-outs here like CRAZY, and its really fucking up my computer. I just need 5 minutes of time to safely shut down my rig, instead of it killing itself immediately.

Also, please remember that in Canada electronics cost 2x as much as the states. I don't want anything fancy or expensive, or provides juice enough to power a PC to use, just enough time to shut it off. Thanks.

Hey guys my name is Mike and I've been on FRG for awhile I just don't play that much. Most people may recognize me from the other server because I was a mod back in 2013-14... Then I made a departure. I came over to this server is because the majority of my buds came here and I like how the weapons are actually balanced + I'm not here for the inv

I'm a Junior in High School, I rarely ever talk (No I'm not a quiet guy I just prefer not to talk when I play TTT), and I just bought a Kayak. Oh... and I'm not going to play this weekend because of the Kayak if anyone cares :'(  

Also I'm 17 if anyone wanted to know.

I really want to reconnect with you guys because I don't want to lose some friends, so Ill try to play whenever I can.

So im thinking possibly a gun thats a m16 or a glock i dont know its like aim bot but you press the middle mouse button to lock on a target and it misses them this can make you look proven and still not miss hit your traitor buddies when your shooting him and trying to miss to look proven