Steam/Ingame Name: Terran
Discord Name (if different): terranovaclick
Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:26479329
Age: 30
Current Rank: Member
Have you ever been banned and why: No, unless potentially a joke ban in the past (and maybe a few Karma bans). (I don't want to trawl the ban list mines again, please, I did that years ago already)
Why would you like to be promoted?: Well, I have a tendency to send out a flurry of word soup which nobody cares about, so in the effort of trying to be a bit more punctual I'll (Not) take up your time. (Hopefully). (Maybe).
(There's a TL;DR before, please read that and nothing below. If only to save me my embarrassing embarrassments).
So back around 2015(?) or so I signed up for Moderator, and before that I was +member (Though I don't remember the date). This was after playing FRG for a while and getting a pretty good idea of how the system works overall. I had a pretty rocky start - On NTG, I was a, let's put it politely, "Menace". Honestly I should have been banned, but Brass gave me more than my fair share of chances and so did many other players. At one point I sort of idolized some people, despite not really understanding how to function properly myself. Staff members like Omega Garrus and others really impressed me with how much they improved the server, and that a volunteer position in life can not only be rewarding, but fun - Especially if its for something you enjoy or care about (Which, for me, is FRG). Time went on, and when FRG rolled out, I hopped ship right away - I was super intrigued and the idea of a fresh start sounded fun. I also really, really wanted to change my image (Which was currently pretty bad). To avoid a whole bunch of meandering and crybaby stuff, I was going through a loop of medications and therapies and trying to recover from some stuff that shaped me into who I had become. I was down a pretty bad rabbit hole, not proud of that, and I was not a good person. Leaving it at that (lest I fill this entire thread with a sob story), I spent a lot of time trying to not only improve myself but reconcile with problems in the past.
<Paragraph Break to save the one poor soul who reads this out of sheer boredom>
Becoming a staff member was...really nice. I actually found out that I could help people while playing and, in turn, help myself. I kept this up for years and I was very content with my Moderator position (Since I focused on the server and not really on any sort of management, Moderator was a great end goal there). I feel like I did a pretty good job - well, not to toot my own horn, but I was active and (I like to think), unbiased. But at some point I realized FRG was growing - it was becoming a better place, though back then, it seemed strange. The internet changes, and so do people (sometimes). I realized that I wasn't growing with FRG. I more-or-less plateaued - and when realizing it, I felt like I was not a fit for being staff. I considered just resigning, but, I could never do that - not out of some sort of "rank" greed, but just because it felt like I was abandoning a part of FRG I wanted to...well, be a part of. Then I had some pretty big life changes come on and I took a break - a LONG break. A multi-year break. I never made a departure or anything, since I always planned to return, but I felt it was best this way - I needed to upgrade myself. Change my outlook on life. Start doing something more. (By the way, I succeeded, and its been such a relief). I cut out a lot from my life that was cancerous - stuff that was not healthy nor positive, including people.
<Another paragraph break, my apologies.>
Then, one day, I realized...things were pretty good. I felt like I had changed myself overall a lot. I didn't have to try to be edgy or assholish in an effort to be "interesting" or some much-maligned version of "cool", and, instead, I could just try and be...nicer. I wanted to be treated well, and that came with treating others well. To momentarily diverge, back on NTG I used to have some players I hated. I really just didn't like them, and they didn't like me. I would hate being on the server with them and, no doubt, they too for me. I wanted to change that - I don't want to dislike someone, I don't want to burn bridges, I don't want to "make enemies". I can certainly be horribly annoying and perhaps even detestable, but I'm truly open to feedback for that. I am genuinely autistic, I have permanent brain damage (TMI Sob Story?), but I can improve and its always great when people help with that.
In that pursuit I may have somehow upset some people here on FRG, and I don't want to repeat that cycle of making the server worse for someone because I'm on it, and certainly not vice-versa there. This may have earned me quite a bit of enmity with some people and if any of you read this, I'm sorry, I'm broken in many ways like humans tend to be and that means I can be very, very annoying. That's just a little bit I wanted to include in-case anyone cared.
<Paragraph Break so I can get back into my actual application>
So, in essence, I feel like I'd love to try and become someone helpful on the server again, which has always sort of been my goal whether staff or not. I'd like to think I've done that, and made friends as a result, and improved things. Maybe I've messed up in a few places. Maybe I've messed up in a lot of places, I can't really say. But I can say that I genuinely think FRG is really important and that I want to see it prosper.
I had to forcibly cut myself off here...or I would've kept going! Sorry again to anyone who read all of that. Now, the long awaited:
<TL;DR!>
•I've been +Member (and Moderator) on FRG before, and I like to think I've done a good job on that, so I want to try again! (My demotion was automatic, since I took a long break).
•Back during the recent tournament, someone mentioned we didn't have a single +Member on - and we didn't! I've also noticed that during general day-to-day playings of FRG, there can be times when nobody is on who can slay. Our staff do a great job, but I figured one more person in the field can't hurt.
•It'll be fun! That sounds weird, but I love getting involved with stuff if I can be helpful. Whether its beta-testing, volunteering, e.t.c; I want to be there! I like to think I can be considered completely trustworthy in this regard, and, hopefully, helpful.
•FRG is going to have a Member/+Member overhaul, so I was going to wait for that, but I feel like there's no harm in pursuing things considering we don't really know what/when things will change.
•Thanks for reading! Whether it was just the TL;DR or the word tornado above. I hope I can give a shot at being staff on FRG again, since I've been enjoying it a lot.
I'm genuinely hoping for feedback, so if you want to mention anything, please DM me on discord. I'm happy to listen to whatever and try to improve myself, especially if I have done/do something that annoys you.
Thank you NotJohn for helping me feel more confident and for the support you've given me. (Many thanks to others too, of course.)
Discord Name (if different): terranovaclick
Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:26479329
Age: 30
Current Rank: Member
Have you ever been banned and why: No, unless potentially a joke ban in the past (and maybe a few Karma bans). (I don't want to trawl the ban list mines again, please, I did that years ago already)
Why would you like to be promoted?: Well, I have a tendency to send out a flurry of word soup which nobody cares about, so in the effort of trying to be a bit more punctual I'll (Not) take up your time. (Hopefully). (Maybe).
(There's a TL;DR before, please read that and nothing below. If only to save me my embarrassing embarrassments).
So back around 2015(?) or so I signed up for Moderator, and before that I was +member (Though I don't remember the date). This was after playing FRG for a while and getting a pretty good idea of how the system works overall. I had a pretty rocky start - On NTG, I was a, let's put it politely, "Menace". Honestly I should have been banned, but Brass gave me more than my fair share of chances and so did many other players. At one point I sort of idolized some people, despite not really understanding how to function properly myself. Staff members like Omega Garrus and others really impressed me with how much they improved the server, and that a volunteer position in life can not only be rewarding, but fun - Especially if its for something you enjoy or care about (Which, for me, is FRG). Time went on, and when FRG rolled out, I hopped ship right away - I was super intrigued and the idea of a fresh start sounded fun. I also really, really wanted to change my image (Which was currently pretty bad). To avoid a whole bunch of meandering and crybaby stuff, I was going through a loop of medications and therapies and trying to recover from some stuff that shaped me into who I had become. I was down a pretty bad rabbit hole, not proud of that, and I was not a good person. Leaving it at that (lest I fill this entire thread with a sob story), I spent a lot of time trying to not only improve myself but reconcile with problems in the past.
<Paragraph Break to save the one poor soul who reads this out of sheer boredom>
Becoming a staff member was...really nice. I actually found out that I could help people while playing and, in turn, help myself. I kept this up for years and I was very content with my Moderator position (Since I focused on the server and not really on any sort of management, Moderator was a great end goal there). I feel like I did a pretty good job - well, not to toot my own horn, but I was active and (I like to think), unbiased. But at some point I realized FRG was growing - it was becoming a better place, though back then, it seemed strange. The internet changes, and so do people (sometimes). I realized that I wasn't growing with FRG. I more-or-less plateaued - and when realizing it, I felt like I was not a fit for being staff. I considered just resigning, but, I could never do that - not out of some sort of "rank" greed, but just because it felt like I was abandoning a part of FRG I wanted to...well, be a part of. Then I had some pretty big life changes come on and I took a break - a LONG break. A multi-year break. I never made a departure or anything, since I always planned to return, but I felt it was best this way - I needed to upgrade myself. Change my outlook on life. Start doing something more. (By the way, I succeeded, and its been such a relief). I cut out a lot from my life that was cancerous - stuff that was not healthy nor positive, including people.
<Another paragraph break, my apologies.>
Then, one day, I realized...things were pretty good. I felt like I had changed myself overall a lot. I didn't have to try to be edgy or assholish in an effort to be "interesting" or some much-maligned version of "cool", and, instead, I could just try and be...nicer. I wanted to be treated well, and that came with treating others well. To momentarily diverge, back on NTG I used to have some players I hated. I really just didn't like them, and they didn't like me. I would hate being on the server with them and, no doubt, they too for me. I wanted to change that - I don't want to dislike someone, I don't want to burn bridges, I don't want to "make enemies". I can certainly be horribly annoying and perhaps even detestable, but I'm truly open to feedback for that. I am genuinely autistic, I have permanent brain damage (TMI Sob Story?), but I can improve and its always great when people help with that.
In that pursuit I may have somehow upset some people here on FRG, and I don't want to repeat that cycle of making the server worse for someone because I'm on it, and certainly not vice-versa there. This may have earned me quite a bit of enmity with some people and if any of you read this, I'm sorry, I'm broken in many ways like humans tend to be and that means I can be very, very annoying. That's just a little bit I wanted to include in-case anyone cared.
<Paragraph Break so I can get back into my actual application>
So, in essence, I feel like I'd love to try and become someone helpful on the server again, which has always sort of been my goal whether staff or not. I'd like to think I've done that, and made friends as a result, and improved things. Maybe I've messed up in a few places. Maybe I've messed up in a lot of places, I can't really say. But I can say that I genuinely think FRG is really important and that I want to see it prosper.
I had to forcibly cut myself off here...or I would've kept going! Sorry again to anyone who read all of that. Now, the long awaited:
<TL;DR!>
•I've been +Member (and Moderator) on FRG before, and I like to think I've done a good job on that, so I want to try again! (My demotion was automatic, since I took a long break).
•Back during the recent tournament, someone mentioned we didn't have a single +Member on - and we didn't! I've also noticed that during general day-to-day playings of FRG, there can be times when nobody is on who can slay. Our staff do a great job, but I figured one more person in the field can't hurt.
•It'll be fun! That sounds weird, but I love getting involved with stuff if I can be helpful. Whether its beta-testing, volunteering, e.t.c; I want to be there! I like to think I can be considered completely trustworthy in this regard, and, hopefully, helpful.
•FRG is going to have a Member/+Member overhaul, so I was going to wait for that, but I feel like there's no harm in pursuing things considering we don't really know what/when things will change.
•Thanks for reading! Whether it was just the TL;DR or the word tornado above. I hope I can give a shot at being staff on FRG again, since I've been enjoying it a lot.
I'm genuinely hoping for feedback, so if you want to mention anything, please DM me on discord. I'm happy to listen to whatever and try to improve myself, especially if I have done/do something that annoys you.
Thank you NotJohn for helping me feel more confident and for the support you've given me. (Many thanks to others too, of course.)
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